Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
