I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the raccoons are back...
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