Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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