Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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