I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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