do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
