so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
