Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
