Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
