Jerry, you need to find god
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
