I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
well most of my day revolves around power hour
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
