I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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