just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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