After last night, I could never be a politician.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
