If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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