Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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