11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
did you just send me my own nude
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
