i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
