just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
