I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
