I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
