I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
