I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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