Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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