I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
