I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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