um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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