shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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