She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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