Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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