hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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