so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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