I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
