You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
