But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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