Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just had sex bonerless
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize