You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
