i need an iv and a liver transplant
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
