Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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