Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
