Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
