Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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