He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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