party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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