Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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