guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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