So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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