the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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