I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
