Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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