Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
MIDGETS
????
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
