My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
