she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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