My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
