I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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