real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
