tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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