I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
